I’ve been working to get healthier and lose weight. In this past month I’ve stationary biked virtually across Virginia: 415 miles. I’ve been eating better. This last week I even worked out with a vicious cold.One day a month and a half ago, I just got…pissed….I said “This is not the way I want my life to be like.” Although unemployed at the moment, I scraped my pennies together from a few dozen odd jobs, bought a cheap but durable, exercise bike, and went at it. But….for the past few days I have fallen off the wagon (diet and exercise wise). I won’t go into what my life has been like over the years; only to say that over the years there has been a lot of pain, betrayal, emotional abuse, and abandonment by a lot of the people I consider my family/friends. Lately I’m concerned that I’m being attacked by depression. I can see my inner self falling down a muddy hill, grabbing with my fingers, but not being able to stop. All the books say get a support network….but that has never worked out for me. I have a finely tuned B.S. detector and can usually tell when someones “motivational” comment is nothing more than a bland pleasantry not worth much more than hitting the “like” button on Facebook. I’m struggling to re-find my spark but when it’s raining in your life, you wouldn’t believe how hard it is. Any thoughts?